Friday, March 12, 2010

Hillbilly Delirium

The wind roared up from the beach surrounding my cabin. The pine paneling was creaking and the windows were rattling. I was laying in bed detoxing from a drinking binge, and after three days of not using I thought i was pretty much over the hump; no more vomiting, shaking, cold spells, flop sweats or hot flashes. My equilibrium seemed to be restored and i could make it to the refrigerator and back without falling over. I'd taken a handfull of Valerian root tablets to help me sleep, but they hadn't.

I don't know how long i lay there, or what time it was when I became aware that there were hillbillies in my bathroom. I heard their voices first; a man and a woman talking illiterate style. Blood rushed from heart to my brain and my veins filled with adrenaline. I was terrified.
The bathroom door was door was parallel to the bed on my right side; it was open wide and light was coming out. I didn't want to move and draw attention to myself. I wanted them to think I was asleep and no bother. But I also needed to see who these people were. I turned my head slowly so I could see into the bathroom. There was a woman in baggy clothes sitting on the toilet, using it as a seat. She had stringy brown hair and was talking to a big tall man with long hair and a beard. This man had a roll of duct tape, and was doing something with it to a kid who I couldn't get a good look at he was partially hidden in a sort of alcove behind the door.
I kept my eyes closed and stared at the ceiling, afraid I'd catch their eye. I don't know how long I lay like this, but it seemed like forever.
At one point I realized that the man had a gun, I heard him say, "Lets kill 'em both,” and knew he meant me. I jumped out of bed and ran outside. My feet were bare and I was wearing pajamas. The driveway was thick with ice and crusted snow. It was so slippery i couldn't stay up right. I started crawling towards my nearest neighbor. His cabin was only about fifty feet away, but it seemed to take forever, the whole time I thought the hillbilly was right behind me.

I didn't know my neighbor although he was what i considered a regular guy. I doubted that he'd ever been confronted with a situation like the one I was presenting him with, but he handled it well. I was sprawled out on his porch, banging on the bottom of his door, my voice was almost gone but I managed to get across that someone was being killed, and please call 911. He ran inside grabbed a coat and let me into his truck, explaining that he couldn't let me in his house cause he didn't know me.
I sat in the truck shaking from fear or cold I wasn't sure. Repeating pleasepleaseplease over and over to myself. I was sure the hillbilly would appear any minute. One after the other three cop cars pulled into the driveway, lights flashing. In the instant they appeared I knew that no one was in my house, I had imagined the whole thing, and that had to mean i was insane.
A couple of the cops ran into the cabin, my landlord had come out of the main house and he and my neighbor were talking to the others. A lady cop came over and and helped me into the back of one of the cruisers. I was still shaking and she turned the heat up.
The cops came over from the cabin and told me it was empty. I wanted to go back and lie down, but they were adament that I go to the hospital. I hadn't realized that my hands and feet were cut up from the ice, and covered with blood.
At the hospital they took some blood, and I talked to a psychiatrist for about twenty minutes. She told me that I wasn't crazy, I was detoxing, complicated by lack of sleep, and the Valerian root, which apparently can bring on psychotic episodes. I can't say this knowledge made me happy, but I felt some relief that i didn't have to continue life with the extra baggage of being nuts.

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